1 way ticket is free!!! shag is the way to go.........but somehow human being happens to turn me off no matter how hard up I am. I know what they have in their mind and it kills everything. Or I imagine it that way. Too choosy. TOo uptight. Cos it all ends up so disappointing. Hmm......what shall I try next......Beng.....Japanese.....Scandinavian... Might as well get paid being shagged if the partner is half fucked. That's me being a typical Libra; totally appearance conscious (but I have served as an irony looking back at those crap i had). All that had made me paranoid........I need to do something right for once. or shag something right in this aspect. You are hearing all this from a bimbo who came out though the cunt of NUS. Yes, we all are airheads waiting to be massacred.

Tickets to NY prob costs S$1.2k incl all those darn taxes if you depart before Nov. I actually wanna go Washington DC to shack up with a fren so that i dont have to pay for accomodation heheh. That's 4 hrs coach ride by grey hound from NYC to Washington DC. Cost USD35 for return trip according to me fren. As for that sigur ros-radiohead show in Brooklyn, it's gonna be ridiculously ex, so have to let it go. Then wat's the point of going there??? cos I wanna shag this fren? who still has a gf? oh my gawd!! wat am i doing man???
My budget is USD40 per day if I wanna stay 2 weeks. Me frens said Washington is affordable, NY might be ex.

I pass my practical 1 and I'm wondering if its cause I'm a gal and the instructor happened to be the touchy feelie (ARGHHH) type. I was so terrified of him that I perfected all the requirements such that he would not have any reason to stop me and 'coach' me personally.
Anyway I have new jabs every lesson from these instructors. Today, that feelie asked if me mum knew I was talking bike lessons. I have darn no idea why he asked but it's prob I don't buy my own helmet like the rest does. The other day, the bengbeng instructor (youngest among them all) asked me if i needed him to instruct in Mandarin in case I dont understand English (i had a terrible throat infection, and can't even talk, so i can only nod, but's he's fuckable so nevermind). He definitely has more respect for women. And treats all as equal, and he's tall, and those riding boots look damn sexy on him. His biking style is that of a Grand Prix veteran (sorry, getting too heady). Boo hoo......... all cute available guys die already is it???????

Anyone game to go New York in October? Sigur Ros and Radiohead colloborating for an improvisational piece to accompany Merce Cunningham's dance on my birthday, Oct 14.

As I lay on my bed coughing my lungs out, I started contemplating the cosmic emptiness. Jai Guru Derva Om. I have no more desire for what life has to offer. But isolated nothingness is not enlightenment; merely insanity. How? How do i find that thread of path in between insanity and pure laziness? I have no desire for mundane love nor hate. They make no sense..........I merely sink further into oblivion. A stone. Be a stone.

The fortune teller said i'll have blossom luck all my life. Said that got guys interested in me till i'm 60(???????). I stopped talking to David ever since he suggested I rent the entire coffeshop and make money from renting out each individual stalls. But first I'll have to re-mortgage my parents' flat (?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!). He is not happy wih the way i lead my life period. So i told him to fuck off. All the blossom luck i had so far are more like bad luck.
I never use to believe it when ppl tell me its very difficult for an initiated being to quit copulation. Now it is cold turkey (for 3 quarters of a yr already actually). A few years from now, I'll be a fat virgin. blossom at 60??? HAHAHHA

Sometimes I wonder if I am the most hopeless fucked up in the world. i can't even park a bike cos i'm too weak (or stupid) to pull it back up. Then again, i'm overestimating myself. the world is so big, wat gives me the idea i can win that title when there are more fuckedups than i thought. I'll head back for more lessons and humiliation no doubt, and grit my teeth real hard. I'm making the female species lose face sia.

My arms are aching like hell now--from trying to hoist up the unbulging 100kg bike. That's the first biking lesson. My balancing is so bad that I dropped the bike about ten times within 2 hours orientation. Could be the new record! I can't help treating it like an ice skating ring where you pay $10 per hour to fall on ice. except the instructor is definitely not exceptionally glad hoisting up the bike for me (not for ten times i guess). wat the hell is a pampered gal like me playing around with that machine anyway.

The rain is depressing.

House of Missing you (loosely translated from Bobby Chen's lyrics)
A little yellow dog wandering alone in the rain
came to visit me on its way
I then remembered her saying
If you can't find anyone to talk to when you think of me
you can talk to the dog
But don't talk to the dog at raining days
I think it is lonely
Hence it walks alone in the rain
Hello baby dog
would you like to borrow an umbrella
I'm living in the house of missing you

Yesterday was filled with eye candy I don't know how come. The guys seemed cuter. A Nordic looking guy stuck out like a sore thumb on the train of zombies. Boy does he looked every inch a fuckable Viking.

http://www.giantrobot.com/transmissions/index.html
click [7] Kazakhstan Ho!

Man, this is my dream travelling itinerary--no itinerary.

Went to Void Deck gig today and it sucked so i didn't stay on. i just ate like a pig nearby. I'm sad and yet growing fat. Hearing Hill's members faces damn black cos their gig was the opening and the sound sucked big time. Their stuff really cannot perform live cos it needs good acoustic to enhance the ambience. Pink monkey looked terribly upset. Maybe she finally knew I am that bitch. maybe i've been too insensitive.